Personal Study

Next on my developmentplan is "Personal Study". Well, you have to get me right. It's not that I don't study at all, but I'm always busy to keep up with at least preparing the watchtower that I feel like I'm not doing enough. 


So, I decided to read 2 chapters a week in the Bible. But not just reading, digging into it, learning about it and find highlights, points I want to learn from or which are encouraging. 


So far so good. Since my course, I actually keep it up. So I read Prov. 22. - 24. and it is interessting what you can learn each time. Of course some of the verses I know. Some I don't even understand. So I try to do some research. This gives me the oppurtunity to meditate on what I learn. Which is the most important part for me. Because so many times you read something or you try to get your assignement done, that there is not enough time to meditate. Maybe you don't know this problem, but for me this is the reason, why I only read two chapters, no matter how long they are. My goal is to finnaly get through the whole Bible
. 
You may also wonder, why do I only read two chapters, and why not daily. 


First of all, I want to do it because of me, not for someone else, and I want to keep it up regularly. If I set the goal to read everyday, I know that soon enough there will be something in my way, I won't enjoy it as much as I want to and it becomes a chore. 


Secondly, the important part about this "Personal Study" is not the amount of what I read but the meditation. So I mainly want to read something and then take the time to think about it.


 It's not the quantity but the quality. I think that is something very important for me to learn, that it's not about the amount of time I study, but the quality of how I study. 


I would like to share now my personal highlights with you. 


Proverbs 22:1: It is important to have a good name especially with Jehovah rather than being rich and famous.


Proverbs 23:17,18: Eventohugh sometimes it is hard to live in this world, we should not envy the people in it, because only Jehovah can give us everlasting life. 

Developementplan Part 1

Ok, before I start this entry.. Congratulations Becky and John it's your 8th anniversary. I'm so happy to know you, and to know you belong to my family!


I promised to go through my goals for the next few months. Also to let you know how well I can achive them. I will introduce you to one of my goals in each of my entries.
The first one, is a nice "word-game in german" dosen't work to well in english, but nevertheless it is a goal of mine. 
GE(H)DANKENSPAZIERGANG - meaning something like go on a walk with your thoughts. 


My goal is to go on a 30minutes walk every week with Brent. You may wonder why that is a goal. Well, the walk itself is to get some exercise, but the that I will do it with Brent has mainly to do with the fact, that when you walk and talk (moving also your brain) gets you great ideas. 
It's important to share things in your life you want to change, or that are bothering you. Or things that you were thinking about for some time. 


Let your thoughts walk, let them free.. it's not about a serious problem-solving discussion.. but building on or at each others dreams. 
Where do I want to be in three years.... Let's dream together! 


If you ever want to go on a walk with me, just let me know.. I like this game. 


Next will be "PERSONAL STUDY". 

Lifebalance

This week I had the privilege to attend a course from work. It was all about lifebalance and how to handle stress. One of my biggest ressource of stress is myself. By now you know I'm a perfectionist, and try to do everywhere everything perfect. Also that I try to make sure everyone will get or do things "the right way". But as you can imagine, that doesn't turn out that well. 
So I learned that I have to be authentic. What does that mean? For me it means to be myself. To actually do things that I like but also if I do something I can afterwards look into the mirror and think that was they way I wanted to do things. 
So for me that means the following:
- Let go of people. Let them do it their way, trust that they can do things good.
- Have reasonable goals for myself. 
- Find reasons why I can do things not finding excuses not to do things.

I know that might sound now very theoretically but I have actually very specific plans. But I think each and every point in my acction plan deserves its own post. So let me ponder a little more about each point, and I will write a bit about them in the next few days. This will help me also to form them into something real, but also to have you as my readers to "pressure" me to actually keep up what I have in mind. 


So let's go on this adventure together.. and please if you have any ideas, suggestions to actually achive an even better lifebalance, do not hesitate to let me know!

Just some thoughts

Ok, I sit here... actually I want to go to bed, but something keeps me up. Have you ever had that? You want to sleep, but things just keep going on and on. There is so much to do. Work, learning, studying.. and more. I don't know where to do what. It's not that it is too much, I mean I'm well able to get things organized, it's more that I don't want to organize it. 
Why can I not just do nothing.. turn off my brain and relax?


What do you think, how can someone organize one's life and get everything done, but still be relaxed and energetic. I guess that is something I have to figure out.. in case you have an idea let me know. 


I will go to bed now.. and try to sleep. 

Tech4

Ok today I attended the Tech4. It is an IT forum within SBB. Most of the talks were ok. My favourite was the hyperlinked community and of course Bänz Friedli. See his picture attached. Mostly it was his rules about train driving... And finnaly he figured ou all of our problems, it has nothing to do with the public service or technology, but mainly with the people in the train. I guess both sides are right and with some understanding we would provide better services. :-) Anyways I think I can work for an interessting surrounding and if I ever get bored I can look into analyse social media. Don't worry you do not have to understand it... Guess they also are not sure what they are doing.

A date - according to my brain?

Ok, have you ever looked forward to a date? How do you picture a date with someone you really like? Here is my version of it. You get nicely dressed up, then you'll be taken to a restaurant. (doesn't have to be a super fancy one - maybe something like Yard House / in CH a Pizeeria) anyways.. that's what I had in mind (and here it is again why it is called "Inside Claudia's Brain") I went on a date with Brent, thursday night. Later, I kind of understood that when he said "let's go and get some dinner" he truely had just food in his mind. (Why can I not be inside Brent's Brain?) so we go to town - not to mention that I actually got dressed up - and he askes me "where do you wanna go" all girlie I say "this time you choose". (My mistake - of course) so he thinks for a couple of seconds and then he answers: "ok let's go buy some sandwiches and eat in the park". Yes, if you have an unbelievable look on your face, you know ecaxtly how I looked. At that time my brain goes a 100 miles an hour. To late, I let him make the decision and here we are now, sitting in a park and eating our sandwiches... After the first shock was over I have to admit it was kind of funny... maybe even romantic.

As a conclusion I have to say, the next time, I ask if we are going on a date or not.... that might help, and if not I will wear something more comfortable.;-)

P.S did I say the sandwiches were great.

Happy

Can you imagine, that I'm happy? Happier than I've been in the last two years? Ok, first I think it has to do with the sun. Berne is experience a spring which was never like that before. So, I credit that first to that.

But as I wrote before, that it is important to have constantly something to do, keeps me from just get bored. In the last 4 weeks, I haven't been bored. I started reading. More or less 3 books at once, and it is so great to do that. I increased my preparation for meetings and personal study. I even started to do some math again. I can't believe all of that gave me such a boost, I wonder why I didn't do that before. As a result of that I have more energy. I mean I'm still getting tired, I still take my pills and see a psychatrist, but I feel good. I don't know why and how it happened, but it definitely feels great.

One other thing.. today I acctually took out my sowing machine again. WOW it was fun.. mmmh I wonder if I should sow my own skirt instead of buying it. I'm looking for something specific maybe, that might be easier than searching for it.

Well, my planes for this week are simple, work.. :-( I have so many meetings, I hope I get everything done. Do you have that sometime, that you go to work, and after a whole day working, your having your hours, but your real work needs still be done, that's how it will be. But, I'm sure there is nothing to worry about.. especially because friday is a holiday.. so I guess I will grab some books and sit (hopefully) in the sun and enjoy those great stories....
which leads me to the most important question of to day: Am I able to write a book? Is there anyone who would read it? I keep thinking about it.

The start

Ok, you might think why do I write this Blog. It is an experiment. My brain sometimes seems to work at least 1 mio miles an hour. I admit that might be a little bit exagerated, but to me it just feels this way.

I started reading this book, it is called "the drama of being highly skilled". (Das Drama der Hochbegabten) It might seem to be a bit arogant, to actually think something like that about onesself. But I thought, why not give it a try. That's why I'm here sitting and writting this blog.

Have you ever feeled that others cannot understand what you are talking about? Does it seem to you that others are a bit slow sometimes? Ok, that's how it is for me. Which doesn't necessarly mean someone is highly skilled, but it definitely doesn't make it easier.

Funnily, I tried to explain how I think to my dear husband the other night. I made the example of a labyrinth, that my thoughts are going through... well what did I read in the book.. obviously I'm not the only one thinking like that. Just to clarify, I'm not talking of a labryrinth, that you might think I could get lost. Have you ever heard of a labyrinth in a kretish style. That's what I'm talking about.

I am very fascinated by this book, because I find so many logical expanations. Don't get me wrong, I don't walk around considering myself being "highly skilled" but obviously I'm not abnormal in so many things, just different.

I will try to explain my thoughts in this blog, mainly to have a ventil for my brain. Who knows maybe someone enjoys reading it....

My goal you might wonder is to practice writting, and one day, I might be able to write a book. I dream to write a thriller... so let's see where this leads to.